Self-esteem and confidence are two of the most vital elements of our mental wellbeing. They shape how we experience the world, how we relate to others, and how we treat ourselves. Yet for many, these qualities feel elusive—lost under the weight of early life experiences, chronic stress, or ongoing self-criticism.
At Hope Therapy & Counselling Services, we understand how difficult it can be to find your way back to self-worth. That’s why we offer compassionate, evidence-based counselling tailored to your unique story—whether online or in person.
Types of Self-Esteem: What You Might Recognise in Yourself
- High Self-Esteem: You generally feel good about yourself and your abilities.
- Low Self-Esteem: You frequently doubt yourself or feel inadequate.
- Situational Self-Esteem: Your confidence fluctuates depending on the context (e.g. work vs relationships).
It’s normal for self-esteem to shift. But if you find yourself regularly questioning your worth or withdrawing from life, it might be time to explore what’s underneath.
Common Scenarios That Shape Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem often doesn’t come from nowhere. It’s usually shaped by experiences—especially those that left you feeling unseen, unsafe, or unworthy.
Negative Childhood Experiences
- Bullying: Repeated emotional or physical harm can damage your belief in your own value.
- Neglect or Lack of Affection: Feeling ignored or emotionally unsupported by caregivers.
- Abuse: Any form of childhood abuse can result in deep feelings of shame or self-blame.
- Parental Conflict or Criticism: Growing up in a critical or emotionally volatile household.
Stressful Life Events
- Bereavement: Loss can make us feel vulnerable, unanchored, and unsure of our place in the world.
- Unhealthy Relationships: Constant criticism or emotional manipulation erodes your self-image.
- Illness or Injury: Coping with health issues can change how you view yourself and your capabilities.
- Job Loss or Financial Strain: Feelings of failure and helplessness can sink confidence.
- Major Life Changes: Even positive change can cause disorientation and self-doubt.
Other Contributing Factors
- Social Comparisons: In the age of social media, it’s easy to feel “less than” when measuring yourself against others.
- Perfectionism: Unrealistic standards set us up to feel like we’re never good enough.
- Negative Thought Patterns: Inner self-criticism can become a loop that’s hard to break.
- Mental Health Conditions: Depression and anxiety can deeply affect how we see ourselves.
Common Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem and Confidence
- Negative self-talk and internalised criticism
- Fear of failure and reluctance to take risks
- Avoiding social situations or withdrawing from others
- Discomfort with compliments or praise
- Perfectionism and fear of making mistakes
If you’re nodding along, know this: you’re not broken. These are signs of a wound—not a flaw in your personality.
How Hope Therapy Can Support You
Our experienced counsellors work sensitively and collaboratively to support you at your pace, whether that’s in-person or via Zoom or Skype.
What to Expect from Counselling:
1. Understanding Your Triggers
We help you explore the roots of your low self-esteem with care and compassion. This may include looking at past relationships, experiences, or patterns of thought that still impact you today.
2. Psychological and Emotional Support
You’ll have space to talk openly—without judgement. Our therapists offer guidance to help you build emotional resilience and greater self-compassion.
3. Interventions Tailored to You
We draw on evidence-based methods, including:
- CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) to challenge negative thinking
- Mindfulness practices to build present-moment awareness
- Self-esteem-building exercises and reflection tools
4. A Holistic, Human Approach
We understand that self-esteem isn’t just a “mental” issue—it connects to your emotional, relational, and even physical health. That’s why we take a holistic view of your wellbeing.
Building Self-Esteem and Confidence: Self-Care Strategies That Work
While counselling can offer a structured path forward, there are things you can begin doing today to support yourself:
- Practice Self-Compassion: Speak to yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend.
- Set Realistic Goals: Build confidence through small, achievable steps.
- Limit Social Media Exposure: Notice when scrolling leads to comparisons.
- Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Positive relationships nurture positive self-view.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Every step forward, no matter how small, is progress.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
If you’re struggling with self-esteem, it’s not a personal failing—it’s a sign that you’ve been through something difficult and deserve support. At Hope Therapy, we are here to walk alongside you.