Strategies for Busy Women
It’s a strange kind of exhaustion — the one where you’ve done everything you can think of, yet the list keeps growing. You find yourself speeding through each day, constantly shifting between roles — worker, parent, carer, friend, organiser, planner. Even when you sit down, your brain doesn’t. You’re planning dinner, thinking about the next email, wondering if you’ve forgotten something again.
This is time poverty. And it doesn’t just steal your time — it wears away at your energy, your identity, and eventually, your mental health.
In counselling, time poverty is a frequent theme. It’s often not what people come in for, but it’s what sits underneath everything else — burnout, anxiety, low mood, feeling emotionally numb, or simply losing the sense of who you are.
What is time poverty, really?
It’s not just “being busy.” Most people are busy at times. Time poverty is different. It’s the ongoing, relentless feeling that there’s never enough time to meet the basic demands of your life — let alone make room for rest, fun, or care.
Some examples of how it shows up:
- You rush through tasks but feel like nothing really got done
- You collapse into bed exhausted and still feel guilty for what you didn’t finish
- You fantasise about disappearing for a day just to catch up
- You feel like you’re always behind — with work, with parenting, with yourself
- You’ve stopped asking what you want — there’s no time for that
It’s a cycle that feeds itself. The more overstretched you feel, the harder it is to say no. And the harder it is to say no, the more depleted you become.
Why does it hit women especially hard?
While anyone can experience time poverty, women — particularly those juggling work, caregiving, emotional labour, and household responsibilities — are especially vulnerable.
Cultural expectations play a huge role. Many women grow up internalising the belief that their worth is tied to how much they can give. That being selfless is the same as being good. That rest is indulgent, not essential.
This often leads to:
- Over-functioning: Taking on more than your fair share without questioning it
- Guilt when resting: Feeling uneasy when you’re not “doing something productive”
- Invisible labour: Carrying the mental load for everyone — remembering birthdays, organising appointments, emotional support, cleaning up without being asked
- Burnout masked as competence: Others see you as capable. Inside, you’re on the edge.
Counselling offers space to untangle these expectations and ask: Where did I learn that I must be everything to everyone? And what has it cost me?
The mental health impact of never stopping
Time poverty doesn’t just make you tired. It affects how you feel, how you think, and how you connect to others — and yourself.
Common effects include:
- Chronic fatigue and sleep problems
- Anxiety that flares up with no clear cause
- Feeling emotionally flat or disconnected
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Low self-esteem linked to productivity
- Loss of joy in things you used to enjoy
When you’re always running, your nervous system stays on high alert. Your body forgets how to rest. Your mind forgets how to be still.
How counselling can help
You might expect counselling to offer tips or time-saving techniques. But what it really offers is space. Space to step outside the endless list and say, this isn’t working for me anymore.
Together, counselling can help you:
- Identify the unspoken rules and beliefs driving your over-functioning
- Understand where your time and energy are actually going
- Challenge guilt around saying no
- Reconnect with your needs, not just your responsibilities
- Practise boundaries — internally and externally
- Create space in your week without waiting for life to calm down
You don’t need to have a breakdown to deserve support. You just need to feel that something needs to shift.
Small changes that make a difference
You don’t have to change everything overnight. Start small.
- Stop earning rest
You don’t have to finish your list to take a break. You’re allowed to sit down just because you need to. - Say no — kindly, without explanation
You don’t owe anyone a reason. “I can’t take that on right now” is enough. - Let others carry some of the load
Even if they don’t do it your way. Even if they don’t offer first. - Make “doing nothing” part of your routine
Protect that time like any other appointment. Your peace is valid. - Recognise resentment as a signal
If you feel resentful, it often means your boundaries need attention.
FAQs
Q: I feel guilty putting myself first. Is that normal?
Yes. Especially if you’ve been taught to put others ahead of yourself. But guilt is just a feeling — it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
Q: I don’t have time for therapy. What now?
Even one hour a week for yourself can shift the pattern. You don’t have to do more — just something different.
Q: Isn’t this just part of being an adult?
Not like this. Life is demanding, yes — but constant depletion shouldn’t be your baseline.
You don’t need to do more — you need more support
You’re not lazy. You’re not failing. You’re just full. And you’ve been full for a long time.
Counselling can help you find your way back to balance — and back to yourself.
🕊️ Free consultation: hopefulminds.co.uk/free-consultation-with-hope-therapy