By Hope Therapy & Counselling Services
In an age of curated online identities and relentless self-comparison, it’s no surprise that many of us feel pulled toward the idea of being the “main character” in our lives. TikTok trends have given it a catchy label — “Main Character Syndrome” — suggesting a kind of confident self-focus, a cinematic approach to life. But for some, this persona is less about empowerment and more about protection.
From a counselling and CBT perspective, this behaviour can often mask deep-seated anxiety, low self-worth, and a fragile sense of identity.
So what’s really going on when someone starts performing their life like a screenplay?
The Mask of Confidence
“Main Character Syndrome” describes someone who seems to centre everything around themselves — as if the world is a stage and they’re always in the spotlight. On the surface, it can look like self-love. But for many people we see in therapy, this performance isn’t rooted in confidence at all.
It’s often a mask.
Clients struggling with anxiety may craft a version of themselves that appears bold, eccentric, or deeply reflective — not because they believe it, but because they’re trying to outrun their own inner critic.
In CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), we explore the stories we tell ourselves — the “automatic thoughts” that arise from deeper core beliefs. A person with hidden anxiety may think:
- “If I’m not interesting, people will leave me.”
- “If I don’t control how I’m perceived, I’ll be exposed.”
- “Being vulnerable makes me weak.”
So they curate. They manage. They perform.
CBT and the Core Fear of Being ‘Not Enough’
At the heart of many sessions lies the quiet admission: I don’t feel like I’m enough as I am. From a CBT perspective, this core belief often drives perfectionism, social anxiety, and even compulsive behaviours online.
Rather than challenge these thoughts, many clients try to live around them — overcompensating with exaggerated self-focus, or slipping into social withdrawal when they feel their performance isn’t working.
CBT helps individuals break that cycle. Not by demanding they think positively, but by gently uncovering where those beliefs started, and whether they’re actually true. Often, they’re not — they’re inherited from past experiences, upbringing, or trauma.
Together, we begin to test those assumptions.
- What happens if you’re not perfect at work?
- What if someone sees the real you?
- What does it mean if you fail?
Clients often discover that the reality isn’t as catastrophic as they imagined. And in that space, healing begins.
The Role of Social Media and Identity Formation
It’s worth acknowledging that online life can intensify these struggles. Many of us — especially young adults and teens — feel pressure to brand ourselves, to have a story arc, to keep producing content that fits a certain identity. Therapy helps peel back that external pressure and bring the focus inward.
Who are you when no one is watching?
Many clients have never really explored this. Therapy — whether CBT-based or integrative — creates a compassionate space to start.
How Therapy Can Help
Counselling is not about “fixing” someone. It’s about helping them meet themselves with honesty and self-compassion. Whether you work with a CBT therapist, a person-centred counsellor, or someone trained in integrative therapy, the process is about building awareness:
- Of your inner dialogue
- Of the roles you play to feel safe
- Of what it would mean to show up as yourself
CBT gives people tools to spot patterns, challenge unhelpful beliefs, and test new ways of relating to themselves. But more than anything, it gives people permission to be fully human — not a character in someone else’s script.
You Don’t Have to Perform to Be Worthy
If any of this feels uncomfortably familiar — the need to perform, to curate, to control how others see you — it might be time to talk to someone.
At Hope Therapy, we offer a free consultation to help you explore whether counselling is right for you. You don’t need a diagnosis. You don’t need a perfect reason. You just need a place to be real.
Let’s meet you where you are — not the version you think you need to be.
FAQs
Is “Main Character Syndrome” a clinical diagnosis?
No. It’s a pop culture term, not a formal psychological diagnosis — but the behaviours behind it (e.g. anxiety, low self-worth, perfectionism) are very real and worth exploring in therapy.
Can CBT really help with identity issues?
Yes. CBT helps unpack beliefs and thought patterns that shape your identity and behaviour. While not always a deep psychodynamic approach, CBT is highly effective for building awareness and changing stuck patterns.
Do I need to have a mental health condition to come to therapy?
Not at all. Many people come to therapy simply because they want to understand themselves better or feel more comfortable in their own skin.
Where can I find help?
Hope Therapy offers online and face-to-face counselling. Book your free consultation to talk it through with one of our qualified therapists.