Introduction
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) offers a powerful way to manage emotional distress by using self-kindness and understanding. This method, created by psychologist Paul Gilbert, helps people develop a more compassionate relationship with themselves during tough times.
In a recent conversation with Wendy Castellino, a cognitive behavioural psychotherapist with over 30 years of experience in mental health, we discussed CFT and how it can be used in everyday life. Wendy points out that while some may see compassion as weak or overly sentimental, it actually requires strength and bravery – qualities shown by great leaders like Martin Luther King, Gandhi, and the Dalai Lama.
CFT is an effective tool for building emotional resilience. By learning how to activate our self-soothing system, we can face life’s difficulties with more clarity and inner strength.
However, it’s important to remember that emotional distress can show up in different ways, such as generalised anxiety disorder or even mythomania. In these situations, it may be helpful to seek professional support through counselling.
Additionally, CFT can also be beneficial in healing relationship problems, including infidelity, by promoting self-compassion and understanding.
Understanding Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT)
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) is an innovative approach to mental health treatment developed by psychologist Paul Gilbert, who received an OBE for his significant contributions to mental health care. This therapeutic method challenges common misconceptions about compassion being “soft” or “fluffy” – instead, it emphasises strength, courage, and resilience.
The Inspiration Behind CFT
CFT draws inspiration from powerful historical figures who embodied both strength and compassion:
- Martin Luther King
- Gandhi
- Mother Teresa
- The Dalai Lama
These leaders demonstrated how compassion can fuel positive change and strong leadership, reflecting CFT’s core principle that self-compassion builds inner strength rather than weakness.
How CFT Helps Individuals
The therapy’s unique approach helps individuals:
- Develop emotional resilience
- Face challenges head-on rather than avoiding them
- Bring out their best qualities
- Build inner strength through self-understanding
The Role of Brain Science in CFT
A key component of CFT involves understanding how our brains work, particularly focusing on our emotional regulation systems. This knowledge empowers individuals to respond more effectively to life’s challenges, creating a foundation for lasting positive change.
Balancing Kindness and Courage
The practice emphasises that true compassion involves both nurturing kindness and the courage to make necessary changes. This dual focus helps clients develop a balanced approach to self-improvement, combining gentle self-acceptance with active personal growth.
Real-Life Applications of CFT
For instance, those struggling with anxious attachment in romantic relationships can benefit from the emotional resilience developed through CFT. Similarly, individuals who tend to overthink can find relief by applying the self-understanding techniques taught in this therapy.
Enhancing Relationships with CFT
In addition to individual therapy, CFT also provides valuable insights for relationship counselling, helping couples strengthen their connections and resolve conflicts effectively.
The Three Regulation Systems in CFT
Compassion Focused Therapy introduces a unique framework of three interconnected regulation systems, represented by colored circles. These systems work together to influence our emotional responses, behaviours, and overall well-being.
Paul Gilbert’s model illustrates these systems through:
- Red Circle: Fight or Flight Response
- Green Circle: Calm and Self-Soothing
- Blue Circle: Drive and Achievement
Each circle serves a distinct purpose in our emotional regulation. The red circle activates our basic survival instincts, the green circle enables nurturing and self-soothing, while the blue circle drives our achievements and pleasure-seeking behaviours.
Common Triggers for Excessive Red Circle Activation
In today’s fast-paced world, many people spend excessive time in the red circle state. Common triggers include:
- News headlines
- Work-related stress
- Traffic delays
- Relationship challenges
The latter can often be addressed through relationship counselling, which provides tools to navigate these emotional hurdles. Our brains naturally default to the red circle due to an inherent negative bias – a primitive survival mechanism designed to protect us from potential threats. This tendency makes the red circle dominant in our daily experiences, often at the expense of the calming green circle or the motivating blue circle.
The Importance of Understanding These Systems
Understanding these three systems helps us recognise our current emotional state and make conscious choices about how we respond to different situations. This awareness becomes particularly valuable when managing stress and anxiety, as it allows us to identify when we’re caught in one system and need to activate another for better emotional balance.
Seeking Professional Guidance
In such instances, seeking help from online counsellors can be beneficial. These professionals can provide guidance on how to shift from the red circle to either the green or blue circles. Furthermore, with the rise of social media, it’s important to understand its impact on mental health and how it can further exacerbate feelings associated with the red circle state.
However, if you’re unsure about venturing into online therapy, exploring is online counselling right for you could provide clarity on its benefits and suitability for your needs.
2. The Green Circle: Calm and Self-Soothing Strategies
The green circle represents the nurturing side of our brain, activating when we engage in self-soothing activities. This system releases oxytocin – a hormone associated with bonding, connection, and emotional well-being.
Accessing the green circle brings several key benefits:
- Enhanced clarity in thinking and decision-making
- Improved ability to process emotions
- Stronger connections with others
- Better stress management capabilities
The green circle becomes particularly powerful through active practice. Here’s a practical visualisation exercise to activate this system:
- Choose a peaceful place with positive associations
- Focus on sensory experiences:
- Visual: Notice sunlight, colors, natural elements
- Auditory: Listen for gentle sounds like birds or rustling leaves
- Touch: Feel warmth, textures, or gentle breezes
- Smell: Identify natural scents in your environment
- Taste: Notice any pleasant tastes present
This mindful engagement with sensory experiences helps transition from stress responses to a calmer state, allowing the brain’s nurturing system to activate and promote emotional balance. Such self-soothing strategies can be particularly beneficial for individuals dealing with anxious attachment, as they foster emotional regulation and improve interpersonal connections.
3. The Blue Circle: Drive and Achievement
The blue circle in Compassion Focused Therapy represents our drive system – a vital component for personal growth and accomplishment. This emotional state activates when we:
- Set and pursue meaningful goals
- Focus intently on specific tasks
- Complete challenging projects
- Engage in rewarding activities
When we achieve our objectives within this circle, our brain releases dopamine, creating a natural sense of pleasure and satisfaction. This biochemical reward system motivates us to continue striving toward new goals and achievements.
The Double-Edged Nature of the Blue Circle
While the drive system is essential for progress, it can become problematic when overactive. The pleasurable dopamine release can lead to:
- Compulsive shopping behaviours
- Gambling tendencies
- Excessive gaming habits
- Work addiction
- Constant pursuit of achievement without rest
The key lies in balanced engagement with the blue circle – allowing ourselves to experience drive and achievement while remaining mindful of potential addictive patterns. This balance enables healthy goal pursuit without falling into the trap of dopamine-seeking behaviours.
Practical Techniques for Compassion Focused Therapy
Self-soothing techniques are essential in Compassion Focused Therapy, helping individuals move from distress to calmness. These practices tap into our natural ability to comfort ourselves using gentle, mindful methods that activate the calming response system of the green circle.
Visualisation Exercise: Your Personal Peaceful Place
One effective self-soothing technique is to create a mental sanctuary through detailed sensory visualisation. Here’s how you can practice this exercise:
1. Choose Your Location
- Select a place that makes you feel calm and peaceful
- Make sure it doesn’t have any negative memories attached to it
- Ideally, picture yourself alone in this space
2. Engage Your Senses
- Sight: Observe sunlight streaming through trees, bright colors, and natural movements
- Sound: Listen for soft sounds like birds singing, leaves rustling, or water flowing
- Smell: Identify natural scents such as moss, flowers, or fresh air
- Touch: Feel the warmth of the sun on your skin, the texture of grass beneath you, or a cool breeze
- Taste: Notice any pleasant tastes in the atmosphere
3. Deepen the Experience
- Write detailed descriptions of your chosen place
- Focus on each sensory element one at a time
- Allow yourself to fully immerse in the peaceful environment
The effectiveness of this visualisation technique increases with regular practice. You can enhance its impact by:
- Recording your description for future reference
- Creating a dedicated quiet space for practice
- Setting aside specific times for this exercise
- Sharing your peaceful place with someone you trust who also has positive associations with it
The beauty of this practice is that it’s easily accessible – you can visit your peaceful place whenever you need a moment of calmness. This makes it an invaluable tool for managing everyday stress and emotional difficulties.
Integrating CFT into Daily Life
Incorporating Compassion Focused Therapy into daily routines creates lasting positive changes in mental well-being. The key lies in developing consistent practices that align with the three-circle system.
Building Emotional Awareness
Regular check-ins throughout the day help identify which circle dominates your current emotional state:
- Morning Assessment: Take a moment during breakfast to notice your stress levels and emotional state
- Work Breaks: Use short pauses to scan your body for tension signals
- Evening Reflection: Review your day’s emotional patterns before bedtime
Practical Daily Integration
Transform everyday moments into opportunities for self-compassion:
- Red Circle Management
- Practice deep breathing during traffic jams
- Step away from stressful emails for 2-minute calming breaks
- Create a designated “worry time” to contain anxiety
- Green Circle Cultivation
- Set regular times for mindful activities
- Keep a gratitude journal
- Engage in gentle physical activities like walking or stretching
- Blue Circle Balance
- Break large goals into smaller, manageable tasks
- Celebrate small achievements mindfully
- Set healthy boundaries around work and achievement-related activities
Circle Navigation Strategies
Learn to recognise circle transitions through these physical and emotional cues:
Red Circle Signs:
- Racing thoughts
- Muscle tension
- Rapid breathing
Green Circle Signs:
- Steady breathing
- Relaxed muscles
- Clear thinking
Blue Circle Signs:
- Focused attention
- Goal-oriented thoughts
- Increased energy
By paying attention to these signals, you can consciously choose appropriate self-soothing techniques or adjust your activities to maintain emotional balance throughout your day.
Moreover, if you find yourself in a situation where you’re dating someone with relationship trauma, it’s essential to apply the principles of CFT not only for your well-being but also to foster a supportive environment for your partner’s healing process.
Resources for Further Learning on CFT
Ready to deepen your understanding of Compassion Focused Therapy? These valuable resources will guide your learning journey:
Professional Websites
- hopefulminds.co.uk – Comprehensive CFT resources and professional support services
Additional Learning Materials
- Paul Gilbert’s foundational works on CFT
- Research papers highlighting the effectiveness of compassion-based approaches
- Guided visualisation exercises
- Self-soothing technique worksheets
Professional Support
Hope Therapy & Counselling Services offers:
- One-to-one CFT sessions
- Tailored therapeutic approaches
- Initial consultations to match you with the right therapist.
- Online and in-person therapy options
- Team of accredited therapists specialising in CFT
These resources provide practical tools and professional guidance to help you integrate CFT principles into your daily life and support your journey toward emotional well-being.
Conclusion
Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) offers a transformative path to emotional well-being through its unique three-circle system. The interplay between the red (fight-or-flight), green (calm and self-soothing), and blue (drive and achievement) circles creates a balanced approach to managing life’s challenges.
The strength of CFT lies in its practical application. By understanding which circle dominates our current state, we gain valuable insights into our emotional responses. This awareness empowers us to make conscious choices about how we react to stressors and challenges.
The therapy’s emphasis on self-compassion breaks down misconceptions about compassion being “soft” or “fluffy.” Instead, it reveals compassion as a powerful force for personal growth and resilience, following in the footsteps of influential leaders like Martin Luther King and the Dalai Lama.
CFT’s scientific foundation, rooted in our understanding of brain function and hormones like oxytocin and dopamine, provides a solid framework for emotional regulation. The therapy acknowledges our natural tendency toward negative bias while offering practical tools to cultivate a more balanced emotional state.