We’ve all been there—feeling frustrated when someone doesn’t meet our expectations, only to realise we never actually communicated those needs in the first place. Whether in personal relationships, friendships, or the workplace, poor communication can cause misunderstanding, conflict, and emotional strain.
As therapist Wendy Castellino highlights in her recent podcast episode with Ian from Hope Therapy & Counselling Services, clear and compassionate communication is a cornerstone of healthy relationships—and, importantly, good mental health.
1. Stop Assuming—Start Expressing
“When we don’t express our needs, we’re setting people up to fail.” – Wendy Castellino
Many people expect their partner or colleague to ‘just know’ what they’re thinking. But unspoken expectations can lead to resentment. Instead of assuming, try a gentle, clear approach:
“Hey, I’d really appreciate it if we could split the chores this week.”
“It feels like something’s off today. Do you want to talk?”
Being honest about your feelings doesn’t make you needy—it makes you healthy.
2. Understand Defensive Reactions
“Defensiveness shuts down productive conversation.” – Ian, Hope Therapy
When we feel criticized, we often rush to defend ourselves. But rather than reacting, try reflecting. What is the other person really saying? A better response might be:
“I didn’t realise I was coming across that way. Let’s talk about it.”
By validating others’ feelings—even when you don’t fully agree—you create space for dialogue, not distance.
3. Navigating Personality Differences
“Extroverts process externally—introverts internally. Understanding that makes communication smoother.” – Ian
An extrovert may want to talk it out straight away, while an introvert might need space to reflect. Respecting each other’s styles can help bridge the gap:
- Extroverts: Try saying, “Take your time—we can talk when you’re ready.”
- Introverts: Say, “I need a little time to think—can we revisit this in an hour?”
Small changes like this build mutual understanding and prevent conflict before it starts.
4. Communicating Across Neurodivergence
Mental health support must be inclusive, and that includes communication differences. For those with ADHD or who are autistic, typical communication norms may not apply.
“People with ADHD may speak quickly, interrupt, or fidget—not because they’re being rude, but because their minds are racing.”
“Autistic individuals often prefer direct, literal language—and may find long verbal conversations draining.”
Tips for inclusive communication:
- Be clear and direct
- Avoid sarcasm or metaphor
- Offer alternatives like texting or visual communication
- Allow time to pause and process
Respecting neurodivergent communication isn’t just considerate—it’s essential for mental wellness and equity.
5. Long-Distance Communication & Digital Tools
Many of us now rely on technology to stay connected—especially in long-distance relationships or remote work environments. But that comes with challenges:
“Texting removes tone and body language. That’s where misinterpretation can creep in.” – Ian
Try mixing it up:
- Use video or voice notes for warmth
- Send a handwritten card for depth
- Set expectations: “I might take a few hours to reply—it doesn’t mean I don’t care.”
You can even create shared virtual experiences—watch a movie together online, play a game, or have a dinner date via Zoom.
Why It All Matters: The Link Between Communication and Mental Health
Poor communication isn’t just frustrating—it can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, low self-worth, and burnout. When we feel unheard, dismissed, or misunderstood, it directly impacts our emotional wellbeing.
On the flip side, healthy communication builds connection, improves resilience, and fosters a sense of emotional safety—crucial for mental health.
Looking for Support?
If you feel like your communication challenges are affecting your relationships or your wellbeing, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
- Hope Therapy & Counselling Services offer specialist support, tailored to individual needs. Visit www.hopefulmind.co.uk for a free consultation.
- Wendy Castellino, therapist and coach, works with individuals and couples around communication, anxiety, and relationship issues. Reach out at www.wendicastellino.com.
Final Thoughts
Healthy communication doesn’t mean you never disagree. It means you know how to listen, respond thoughtfully, and express yourself in a way that builds bridges—not walls.
If there’s one takeaway from this episode, it’s this: communication isn’t just about what you say—it’s about how it lands with someone else. And when that part is handled with care, your relationships—and your mental health—can thrive.