There is a particular kind of relationship doubt that does not behave like ordinary uncertainty. It does not resolve when things are going well. It does not respond to evidence, however carefully assembled. It arrives uninvited in the middle of … Read more

The first Monday back has a particular quality to it. The alarm sounds at a time it has not sounded for weeks. The inbox has opinions. Somebody needs a PE kit. By half past nine you are already behind, and … Read more

If you have found your way to this page, the chances are you are weighing something up rather than idly reading, and you would probably rather have a straight answer than a reassuring one. So let us take the question … Read more

The diagnostic picture of autism was built, almost entirely, from studying boys. That single fact explains a great deal about why so many women reach adulthood, frequently middle age, and sometimes later still, before anyone raises the possibility at all. Read more

A great many women reach their thirties, forties or fifties before anyone so much as mentions ADHD, and the suggestion very often arrives from somewhere entirely unexpected, a child’s assessment, an offhand remark from a colleague, an article read at … Read more

Menopause changes more than the body. For many women, it also shifts something in how they relate to the people closest to them, not through any choice or failure of feeling, but through the same hormonal mechanisms that are changing … Read more

The word rage is the right word. Not frustration, not irritability, not being short-tempered, the full-body, out-of-proportion anger that seems to arrive from nowhere and disappear just as quickly, leaving confusion and sometimes shame in its wake. If you have … Read more

You send a message. Then you read it back, and something in the wording seems wrong, and you check whether the tick has turned blue. Or the opposite happens, someone tells you they love you, and instead of warmth you … Read more

Some people leave hospital carrying more than a new baby. They carry flashbacks to a moment they couldn’t control, a memory of feeling unheard, or a fear that won’t settle even months later. This is birth trauma. Research suggests it’s … Read more

If you have ADHD and you have spent years watching yourself in social situations, adjusting your tone, slowing your speech, suppressing the impulse to interrupt, performing a version of attentiveness you do not actually feel, you may be masking. ADHD … Read more

The first thing worth saying about ADHD burnout recovery is that pushing harder will not work. The effort that drives someone into burnout cannot be the thing that drives them out of it. Recovery begins when the demands are reduced, … Read more

There is a particular kind of exhausted that people with ADHD describe, not the tiredness that follows a hard week, but something that has weight to it, something that has been building for longer than they realised and does not … Read more

Neurodivergent burnout does not always arrive with a dramatic event. More often it comes quietly, a growing difficulty with things that used to be manageable, a withdrawal from things that used to feel possible, an exhaustion that sleep does not … Read more

When a partner withdraws from intimacy — from the physical closeness, the affection, the emotional availability that a close relationship involves — it can be one of the most confusing and painful experiences in a relationship. The withdrawal is real … Read more

Sometimes it’s a smell. Sometimes it’s a song on the radio, or a tone of voice across a room. And suddenly you’re back there, heart racing, as if years haven’t passed at all. Read more

Many people reach adulthood without a formal autism diagnosis — not because autism was absent, but because it was not identified, or because their particular presentation did not trigger assessment at the time. For autistic adults who received a late … Read more

Overcoming imposter syndrome is not a matter of trying harder to believe in yourself. Most people who have lived with it for any length of time have already tried that, and found that the effort of convincing themselves they belong … Read more

Recovery from autistic burnout is not a straight line, and it does not happen by pushing harder. That much is worth saying at the start. Autistic burnout recovery begins when the demands that caused the burnout are reduced, when genuine … Read more

Imposter syndrome at work is the persistent, private belief that your professional success is undeserved, that you got where you are through luck, timing, or convincing people of something that is not quite true. The work is real. The achievements … Read more

AuDHD is the informal but widely used term for the experience of being both autistic and having ADHD. It is not a clinical diagnosis in its own right, a person receives a diagnosis of autism spectrum condition, ADHD, or both, … Read more