There’s a version of me the world sees — chatty, put-together, always on time. Then there’s the version of me that exists just beneath the surface, frayed around the edges and stretched thin by a constant stream of “what ifs”. That’s the me that lives with anxiety.
Anxiety isn’t just being worried. It’s not just being a bit nervous before a presentation or overthinking a text. It’s like your brain has been hijacked by a rogue alarm system, blaring sirens even when there’s no actual fire. Sometimes I wake up in the morning with a knot in my stomach and no idea why. The day hasn’t even begun, but my body already thinks it’s at war.
Anxiety is a natural and sometimes even helpful response to stress. It can motivate people to prepare for a big presentation, study harder for an exam, or react appropriately in dangerous situations. However, when anxiety becomes overwhelming, persistent, and disconnected from actual threats, it can cross the line into a diagnosable mental health condition: an anxiety disorder. For the millions of people living with anxiety disorders, everyday life can be a constant, exhausting battle with invisible forces.
Why do people get anxiety?
These conditions are tied into the biological reactions that go back to prehistoric times when we hunted and were hunted by wild animals. We had to react in a moment to the threat or perceived threat in front of us. Did we stop and fight for our lunch or run in order to protect ourselves? This is the so-called fight or flight mechanism, that sits within us all and has deep-rooted biological reactions at its core. But for those of us that don’t fear for our lives, we can still project this threat onto other situations that we find ourselves in, resulting in the innate anxiety reaction. For example in the case of a phobia, after a road traffic accident, we may fear driving in a car again both as a passenger or as the driver.
Our minds can also create ‘ what if threats ‘ say, you feel stressed whilst in the supermarket. You want to get out in a hurry. But it takes longer than usual or at least it might seem to. Your heart starts to palpitate and you struggle to breathe properly, your head becomes light and you feel like you are going to faint. What was usually a perfectly normal event, went past simple stress and resulted in a full-blown panic attack. Following the situation you think ‘ what if I fainted in there, I’d fall on the floor all the people would crowd around me and I’d feel such a fool, I couldn’t cope ‘. In your mind, you have now created the worst possible situation, which in turn can make it more likely that the situation may reoccur again.
The worst part is, it’s invisible. If I had a limp or a bandage, maybe it’d make more sense to people. But instead, I smile while my heart races, nod while my thoughts spiral, and carry on while every fibre of me is screaming to run away.
Social situations are especially tough. I’m not shy — I love people — but I dread the unspoken expectations. What if I say the wrong thing? What if they notice my hands shaking? What if I can’t escape the room without drawing attention? That “what if” cycle is relentless. I rehearse conversations in my head days before they happen. I cancel plans last minute, crushed by the weight of imagined failure.
But anxiety isn’t all doom and gloom. Over time, I’ve found little lifelines. Long walks, grounding exercises, talking honestly with someone who gets it. Therapy, when I could afford it, was like a lighthouse in a storm — not fixing everything, but giving me direction.
If you’ve never lived with anxiety, try to picture constantly tensing for a punch that never lands. Try to imagine being in a crowded room and still feeling desperately alone. That’s what it’s like sometimes.
But there’s hope, too. Some days are peaceful. Some mornings I wake up and breathe without effort. I’ve started noticing the space between my thoughts, the quiet after the storm. And that, to me, is everything.
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Hope Therapy is here to help.
Hope Therapy’s fully qualified and experienced team of Counsellors and Cognitive Behavioural Therapists, offer UK wide Psychological and Emotional support to Anxiety sufferers via Zoom and Skype.
We can help you to develop positive skills, interventions and insights to support your anxiety, along with exploring underlying issues that can either contribute to your anxiety or result from it.
- Identifying triggers.
- Effective Skills and interventions. Supporting your psychological needs and wellbeing.