Understanding postnatal depression

Postnatal depression is a form of depression that develops in the year after having a baby. It is more persistent and more intense than the short-lived “baby blues,” affecting mood, energy and the ability to cope and connect. It is common, it is not a reflection of your worth as a parent, and it is treatable.

Having a baby is one of the biggest changes a person can go through, and it is normal for emotions to be all over the place in the early weeks. But when low mood settles in and stays — when it starts to affect how you function, how you feel about yourself, and how connected you feel to your baby — it may be postnatal depression rather than ordinary adjustment.

Postnatal depression is thought to affect more than one in ten women within a year of giving birth, and it can affect fathers and partners too. Despite how common it is, many parents feel unable to talk about it, often because it sits so uncomfortably alongside the expectation that this should be a happy time. That silence can make it harder to recognise and harder to reach out — which is exactly why clear information matters.

Postnatal depression can affect your mood, your body, and your relationship with your baby and those around you. Most parents experience a cluster of these rather than all of them, lasting most of the day for two weeks or more.

Recognising the signs is not about labelling yourself — it is about understanding what you are experiencing well enough to reach out. Common signs include:

• Frightening or intrusive thoughts, which many parents find distressing and are often reluctant to mention
• A persistent low mood, sadness or tearfulness that doesn’t lift
• Feeling unable to cope, or that you are not a good enough parent
• Losing interest in things — sometimes including, painfully, in the baby
• Feeling numb, disconnected, or struggling to bond
• Withdrawing from family, friends, or the world around you
• Trouble sleeping even when the baby sleeps, or changes in appetite

Alongside the support of your GP, midwife or health visitor — who are a good first port of call and can talk through all the options with you — many parents find that talking therapy gives them a space to say honestly how they are feeling, without judgement and without fear of being seen as failing. Being able to speak openly about the hardest parts, to someone whose role is to take them seriously, is often where things begin to feel less heavy.

Counselling can help you make sense of the adjustment you are going through, ease the guilt and self-criticism that so often come with postnatal depression, and gradually reconnect — with yourself, and with your baby. Approaches such as person-centred counselling and CBT can both be helpful, and your therapist will talk through what suits you. Our depression counselling service explains how we work and how to begin, and our depression overview covers the wider picture. Sessions start from £65; see our fees page for details.

Sessions are confidential. There are limited circumstances where confidentiality may need to change — for example, if there is a serious risk of harm to you, your baby, or someone else — and your therapist will explain these clearly, in advance, before you begin.

A printable overview of our depression counselling service — useful to keep or share.