Understanding executive functioning skills, everyday challenges, and how therapy and support can help
Written by Simon Hughes
Executive Functions are our brain’s higher order functioning in the prefrontal cortex, and necessary for managing everyday tasks. Think of them as mental skills. There’s debate on exactly how many of them there are, but in this article, we will cover 8 Executive Functioning Skills.
Much of our executive functioning is determined by our neurobiology, but (like any skills), the good news is that we can train and work on strategies to develop those skills.
Neurodivergence
Neurotypes like ADHD affect the development of executive functioning in terms of the rate they develop compared to a neurotypical brain, and the capacity once the brain is fully developed. Working memory, for example, can particularly be a challenge in busy ADHD brains that can struggle with regulating and holding attention (either hyperfocus or hard to focus).
Other neurotypes like autism also impact on executive functioning skills, such as cognitive flexibility or emotional regulation.
Note
Neurodivergent brains are not deficient or wrong in any way. They are part of the diversity that makes up humanity and come with many strengths. They also tend to have Spiky Profiles with areas that are more of a challenge, and in outlining the Executive Functions, this article is highlighting some of the areas that might be a challenge.
Also note, that every human is unique, and no two people are the same (even if they are both ADHDers), so too having a neurotype does not necessarily mean you will struggle with all these executive functions.
The Executive Functions
Below is a breakdown of what the executive functions are as well as a coaching tip for working with each. At Hope, we have a team of counsellors and coaches with expertise with working with executive functioning skills who can offer you a place of being validated, understood, and being given tools to compensate.
1. Working Memory
Working memory is the ability to hold short-term memory in the mind and be able to manipulate that information. An example might be if I said a number to you like 57382 and then asked you to repeat it to me backwards. You’re holding 57382 in your short-term memory and manipulating that data into 28375.
Often in couples counselling, we get clients say partner will keep forgetting to do chores around the house – not because they’re neglectful, but simply because its hard to hold tasks in our short term memory (especially if we’re an ADHDer with a beautiful busy brain that processes quickly). We also hear problems like losing things like keys because once they’re placed down, we forget about them.
Some tips for working memory are to have physical copies of things like lists. Object Permeance (remembering something when you can’t see it) are hard if we have working memory issues, so a list on the phone often isn’t enough. Having a piece of paper or a diary is often far more effective. Be kind to yourself and set up prompts or note things quickly so we’re not straining our memory. We don’t have to be a masochist, work with our brain and use prompts to remind us of what’s important. Some folks, for example, find it useful to have a drywipe board as an aid memoire.
2. Self-Monitoring
Self-Monitoring is the ability to observe and evaluate your thoughts, behaviours, urges and actions. It’s about being able to have insight in the moment into our experience and actions.
Self-monitoring is a category of self-awareness, and if we are less developed in this area, we may often find that we act impulsively without knowing why, and get stuck in patterns of self-blame where we act in ineffective ways then berate ourselves for having done that behaviour again.
If we don’t know what we are experiencing, we won’t have control over it. There are various approaches to mindfulness that aren’t just sitting meditations, and can help us to become aware of our feelings and thoughts as an observer rather than reacting to them. CBT & DBT have similar approaches such as Cognitive Defusion (observing your thoughts) or Mental Noting. The idea behind these is to practice deliberate awareness of emotions, thoughts, and urges as they pass so we identify less with them (I am not angry, I am experiencing a feeling of anger; I am not worthless, I’m experiencing a thought that I am worthless when I think about how my last work shift didn’t go well).
The idea behind this is that in practicing self-awareness outside of difficulties, we can gain awareness before we do ineffective behaviours.
3. Inhibition and Impulse Control
This executive function is the ability to hold back from ineffective or impulsive behaviours. The skill of delayed gratification.
Problems with inhibition can at an extreme put us at risk of risk-taking dopamine-seeking behaviours for example substance misuse, undesirable sexual encounters, and adrenaline filled activities like speeding. At a lower end, it can make delaying gratification difficult which impacts on us being able to do the work we wish we would rather than scrolling on TikTok, or lapsing on our diet again when we see a chocolate bar at the petrol station. It can also make listening hard (alongside Working Memory issues as if we want to say something we have to or we forget it) or waiting out turn e.g. in playing a board game.
The same mindfulness exercises I discuss in Self-monitoring are great at building self-awareness that can help with impulse control. I used to run groups for people in recovery from substance misuse, and one thing we would say is to never rely on willpower (it’s a fragile thing that tends to fail). Instead, we look at triggers that cause impulsive ineffective behaviours and look to avoid them, control them, or escape when exposed to them. If you are acting on undesirable urges, you could also look at alternate behaviours that are safer and reduce harm for example, drawing on your wrist with a red fountain pen rather than self-harming.
4. Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation is the ability to recognise, understand and manage our emotions and emotional reactions to different situations. Around 5% of the population, and 50% of autistic people have alexithymia which literally means not being able to describe your emotional experience – this may be that it’s an autistic trait, or it may be that masking and invalidating environments cause a distrust in emotions.
Emotional regulation issues tend to be very common when people first start therapy – especially if we are neurodivergent, trauma survivors, or have grown up in certain family backgrounds. It can look like experiencing meltdowns or shutdowns when we are dysregulates, not feeling in control of our feelings, not experiencing feelings and being dissociative, or feeling things at an intensity that are disproportionate to the triggering event.
Some ways to develop emotional regulation include mindfulness of certain feelings, using a feelings wheel to increase our emotional vocabulary and learning where those feelings present in the body, distress tolerance skills when we are overwhelmed, & the pause technique of waiting 90 seconds before we react.
Most children learn emotional vocabulary from their care givers validating and naming their feelings. If your home environment wasn’t safe or traumatic that can be a challenge. Therapy can give you space to express your feelings, be heard and validated in them, and your therapist may well mirror them in their own experience or use active empathy to help you process them. If we are alexithymic, therapy can help psychoeducate on that and we can use things such as Zones of Regulation to cluster feelings or personally I like using a Traffic Light system with clients to help them realise the extent to which they are dysregulated.
5. Cognitive Flexibility
Cognitive Flexibility is the ability to adapt and adjust to changing circumstances, perspectives, or demands.
It affects our ability to multi-task, to switch between tasks, to focus with flow, to deviate from our plans, and to change cognitive schemas.
This can show up in Neurodivergence: Many autists will value routine as making sense in a chaotic world and practice scripts for social situations, and it can be overwhelming when things sway from those on our social imagination needs. There is also a double empathy problem, where communication is often allistic and not tailored to autistic communication which can be a challenge for perspective taking.
ADHDers, can struggle to regulate focus which can make it difficult to stop one task if we are hyperfocussed on it, or start one that doesn’t captivate an interest led brain.
6. Planning and Prioritising
Planning is about creating a systematic approach to achieving goals including breaking tasks down into steps and being able to prioritise tasks and determine importance.
This can be a particular challenge for ADHD because ADHDers struggle to predict and regulate focus or attention. This can impact on time-perception where hours may go by with a hyperfocus such that we neglect to remember to drink water, or where it’s difficult to muster the attention to do chores such as the laundry as we don’t know if we will have the motivation and focus to complete this task.
7. Task Initiation
Task initiation is the ability to begin a task without procrastination or hesitation – particularly if that doesn’t match our interests. It means leaving the thinking or planning stage and not being overwhelmed at the need to start.
It’s not laziness, and not being able to initiate tasks feels exhausting and guilt filled. Many ADHDers who approach us for therapy will have introjected messages that they are bad for task initiation challenges like procrastinating when really they are overwhelmed, and the paralysis can be quite debilitating – willing ourselves to do a task but not being able to action it.
8. Organisation
Organisation is about arranging information, materials, space, our attention, impulsivity and tasks. It combines with other executive functions like working memory to also impact on how tidy or messy our environment is and can be a challenge with clutter or losing things.
This can lead to feelings of shame or relational conflicts where tidiness or task organisation is hard to engage for ADHDers, yet it seems so easy for people without this organisational executive function challenge.
Conclusion
Executive functional challenges are real hidden difficulties that people experience – particularly in neurotypes like ADHD and autism. People without executive dysfunction can often not appreciate the challenges to equality, which can lead to stigma, shaming, and feeling a failure when we struggle with things such as tasks as a result of executive dysfunction.
Hope can provide counselling and coaching with some of our specially trained therapists to help psychoeducate, give practical tips like those mentioned in this article, work on your communication or in family/couples counselling if you are not being understood, and on the deeper seated schemas or emotions of shame we can absorb e.g. I’m not good enough or I’m lazy.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are executive functions?
Executive functions are mental skills that help us manage tasks, regulate behaviour, organise information, and cope with everyday life. They include things like working memory, emotional regulation, planning, organisation, and impulse control.
Are executive function difficulties common in ADHD and autism?
Yes. Executive functioning differences are very common in ADHD and autism. This does not mean someone is lazy, incapable, or broken. Neurodivergent brains simply process information differently and may require different tools, structures, or support.
Can executive functioning skills improve?
Yes. While executive functioning is influenced by neurobiology, many people benefit from strategies, routines, coaching, counselling, psychoeducation, and practical supports that help compensate for difficulties.
Is procrastination always laziness?
No. Difficulties with executive functioning can make starting, planning, prioritising, or completing tasks feel overwhelming. Many people experiencing executive dysfunction want to complete tasks but feel mentally stuck or paralysed.
How can therapy help with executive functioning?
Therapy can help people better understand how their brain works, reduce shame and self-criticism, develop coping strategies, improve communication, and build systems that work with rather than against their neurotype.
Does Hope Therapy support ADHD and autism?
Yes. Hope Therapy & Counselling Services offers neuroaffirming counselling and coaching support for ADHD, autism, executive functioning difficulties, emotional regulation, relationships, and self-esteem.
Simon is a counsellor based in Oxford with a passion for clients who find themselves stuck in patterns of self-blame – often from a lifetime of being told they are wrong or do not belong. This presents strongly in autism, especially in internalised profiles where masking and perfectionism can be that much more intense.